After Hearing of Isaac Villegas’ Resignation

I left my unfolded laundry in the hallway. Again.
I don’t say this is the best decision, only that I made it
for my own deliberate and necessary reasons.

I thought this was forbearance, you not throwing
my laundry all over the front yard. You meant you’d
only throw it when you were indignant. I thought

foremost in an argument, we say family. This was
a family meal, we admitted that first. We agreed
to the rules of eating: to not shun. To not make motions

of covering our own ears at the table. To forbear, trusting
the damage a human can do to your ears will be undone
by God. I thought we agreed this is not contagious.

By this, I mean my beliefs. I mean your beliefs.
This is not a contest of throwing smallpox blankets
over fort walls—we don’t build forts between families.

We do build houses 500 miles away. We do go a full year
without speaking to each other, without holidays,
because neither of us wants to fly across the country.

I have invited myself over inconveniently—I thought
you would forbear when I considered myself a closer
relation than I am. Did you mean something else by forbearance?

Did you mean this poem should rhyme? Did you mean
to change the words in the final draft and tell me to sign
only my own name as author? Family, do we change

each others’ answers on the homework? Don’t we eat
separate meals in the same room, each of us chewing
our own favorites, what feeds us the things we need

and don’t need? I thought to forbear was to not make
you in the image of myself. To forbear is to stop using the word
dealbreaker when we talk about each other’s bodies.

This is a body, mine, and this is a body, yours,
when we speak, only one of our lips move.
But you stretch out a hand and ask why my nose

is so long. Forbear with me. Let my body
not be your body, let it stand in the same room
with Christ’s body and yours, let us stand in rooms

together. Let us resist a mutual urge
to clean up after each other. I thought
forbearance meant we were still living together.

But you meant that you’ll rekey the doors when I
go out with friends who make your tongue itch.
I thought forbearance meant neither of us apologize

for our laundry basket or the fit of our clothes.
But you meant that I should wear your clothes,
the ones that itch against my skin, and stay

silent about it. I’m not tired of arguing with you.
I’m tired of not arguing with you. Argue
with me like a roommate, like we’ll keep sleeping

under the same roof that God built. Forbear with me
like you voted on it, like you trust the democracy
to hold your grief until the next election. Like you

trust God to hold your grief. And mine, too.
I want to cry in front of you. Is now a good time?
Is it more convenient if I remain quiet in this land?

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “After Hearing of Isaac Villegas’ Resignation

  1. Wow.This is a powerful poem expressing true emotions as the Chapel Hill NC Mennonite body of Christ finds its pastor “disciplined” by the larger church organization for acting as the local church body decided, “We want to be a welcoming and open Body of Christ as we understand the Holy Spirit guiding us to be. My heart is heavy for you and your group o this weekend. You have my heartfelt prayers. In my Church of the Brethren denomination, I witnessed friends in the 1980s and 1990s suffer as the Church went through these growing pains.All I can say is that these situations and dialogues have the Power to transform hearts. They need to happen. No matter how painful

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s