I’m tired of squinting at articles trying to make sense of the church’s movement/not movement on LGBTQ conversations. I’m tired of blogging about it. So here’s ten conversations I’d rather be having at the Kansas City Convention.

10. Gun Control. Remember that time we were pacifists? Like, for the last 500 years?

9. Vegetarianism. Remember how pacifism is a lifestyle and meat-eating is violent toward animals, people who work in food production, and to the earth itself? Why don’t we work on a resolution encouraging all church members to take a step toward peace by eating vegetarian, at least 5 days of the week?

8. Bike Mileage for Pastors. Pastors consistently say one of the best things about MC USA is the salary guidelines. Could Executive Board add to that by creating a guideline for pastors to receive reimbursement for miles biked and incentivizing pastors to bike while on the job? We make statements about caring for the environment but maybe we could, you know, actually do something about it?

7. Dancing. Over the years, people have consistently grown more comfortable with dancing. I worry that this erodes our transition and we’re losing the true spirit of the gospel. Let’s renew our commitment to standing still, lest it lead to movement.
6. Trans-Pacific Trade Partnership. Wasn’t NAFTA great for furthering God’s kingdom? Nope, not even a little bit. So let’s make a resolution to lobby harder against the similarly written TPP which is trying to be fast-tracked through Congress.

5. Church Planting. Meanwhile… churches are still shrinking. We aren’t making any efforts to invite people in. If we like this thing we call church, maybe we could invite our friends.

4. Hipster Racism. Everybody has a black friend these days, and white people seem to think that entitles us to be racist when we feel like it. How ’bout a workshop about hipster racism, and while we’re at it, intersectionality and white privilege?

3. Income Disparity. The gap between the rich and the poor gets wider and wider. Let’s pass a resolution about paying pastors and staff a living wage, while capping their income at no more than X percent of the lowest-paid worker in the denomination.

2. Teenagers. They’re not the future of the church. They’re the now of the church. They are not afraid of mistake-making the way adults are, and the teenagers get more done at my church than several committees. Let’s let them come into a delegate session and talk over their concerns while the adults sit and listen.

1. Heterosexuality. Oh wait, never mind. If our heterosexuality conversation looks anything like our homosexuality conversation, let’s not go there.